i've come to realize

that through all things
there will only be one thing
that will keep me from being

it's love, people.

love is a plague; a disease of the mind
it keeps you distracted
keeps you from your hopes and dreams
at one point it may have been
the excelled product of all one would hope for
but in this world love cannot be
at least not in this moment

my life as of now is filled with treachery
twists and turns and situations
situations that could change everything
my path is set before me steadily
but i cannot hold your hand while i stride

so i must choose;
do i leave?
or do i give up everything for you?

perhaps this is romance; to give up one's entire life for the love of another
to pass on all things save one; that one and only one
but even if i were, and am, the hopeless romantic
i know that i could never give you what you want
what you need
or what i need for myself
in this current life i hold

time;

time is a cold and bitter excuse
yet i feel it perfectly logical to demand more time to grow

even you are not ready; you don't know what you want
you don't know what you need
and i know that there is someone out there
who already does
who would love me where i am
and walk with me toward a future that we had planned


while the fanciful dreams of our past are perfection
i know that they are not possible unless we can traverse life together
laughing and joking with the sun and the stars
not on each others' shoulders
not on each others' backs
not nagging and whining and making up emotions
that only cloud the life which we try to lead

it's through this that i travel
and it's through this that i fight
for once i have finally found that one to walk next to
it won't be about love
it won't be about sex
it won't be about anything but our futures combined

this is true love
it can never be fabricated.