i've come to realize

that through all things
there will only be one thing
that will keep me from being

it's love, people.

love is a plague; a disease of the mind
it keeps you distracted
keeps you from your hopes and dreams
at one point it may have been
the excelled product of all one would hope for
but in this world love cannot be
at least not in this moment

my life as of now is filled with treachery
twists and turns and situations
situations that could change everything
my path is set before me steadily
but i cannot hold your hand while i stride

so i must choose;
do i leave?
or do i give up everything for you?

perhaps this is romance; to give up one's entire life for the love of another
to pass on all things save one; that one and only one
but even if i were, and am, the hopeless romantic
i know that i could never give you what you want
what you need
or what i need for myself
in this current life i hold

time;

time is a cold and bitter excuse
yet i feel it perfectly logical to demand more time to grow

even you are not ready; you don't know what you want
you don't know what you need
and i know that there is someone out there
who already does
who would love me where i am
and walk with me toward a future that we had planned


while the fanciful dreams of our past are perfection
i know that they are not possible unless we can traverse life together
laughing and joking with the sun and the stars
not on each others' shoulders
not on each others' backs
not nagging and whining and making up emotions
that only cloud the life which we try to lead

it's through this that i travel
and it's through this that i fight
for once i have finally found that one to walk next to
it won't be about love
it won't be about sex
it won't be about anything but our futures combined

this is true love
it can never be fabricated.

hail humanity!!!

what is this life?
and what does it all mean?
and is that a question that can even be asked?
much less answered?

think of your life as i think of mine.

what was the significance, beyond all things transcending time?

other than to form significance, i can come to nothing.

beauty, perhaps?

we are an entity compromising itself on behalf of beauty

on behalf of a world that exists within our minds that has not yet fully come to fruition in the foreground.

and ever, will it?

i suppose it depends on we, the folk existing in the now.

even as you sit there reading this text you are being changed; manipulated

not for malice, nor for personal gain

more for experience, for lack of a better metaphorically pleasurable muse of slang.

i am a seeker, as i conclude we all must be under the surface of the ego we form through our mundane everyday excursions into the material world

the only world we can all agree on:

EARTH! 365 1/4 DAYS IN A YEAR! 7 DAYS ON A CALENDAR PER WEEK!

at least that's how it is in MY COUNTRY! GREATEST COUNTRY OF THEM ALL! LOOK AT OUR LITTLE LIFE! ISN'T IT CUTE?! EACH WITH OUR OWN QUAINT LITTLE UNITS OF FRIENDS AND PRECISELY ARTICULATED FAMILY UNITS; DON'T IT JUST MAKE YOU WANNA SLAP YOUR MOMMA?!

but beneath it each of us knows of a world far more extravagant; at least far more appealing

singular perfection; to use a term lightly

those of us fortunate enough have been able to preview this world

some even more unfortunate soul is there now; but only cognitively

trapped in an ever-flowing escarpment of what could and what is and what if and only if i...only if we...why can't we...why must we...why do we...do we...are we?...wait a minute...WE? WHAT ARE WE?

and even so brilliantly sculpted,

a phrase uttered uselessly can never be

turned from damned to praised.

crush yourself

grind you down

see what's you when you're all gone

and then you'll know

beyond all else

who always was there

beyond you

and all at once

you'll know and see

our existential humanity

is nothing far from genius

expel your soul from the dungeons of thine

quiet your demons, the darkness is fading

embrace the dragons of your own time

the unrequited brilliance

that thrives within the you within you

deep

deep

deeper yet

twisting deeper through limitless cooridors

embrace the truth of knowledge and the magic existing between the lines of all time

and space and all will seem to coalesce before your eyes

for the present moment lived is now

and wasted is nigh

never stop to ponder for pondering leads to more pondering of ponderings pondering what ponderance you've pondered atop previously pondered ponderings!

it's gone afoul!

there are lies abound

the truth can only be found within

and if we can take the time to sort through the bones of this tarnished zen

we can possibly discover

that not only do we hold the answers

but that we are the answers to all the questions we seek to expound upon

we are the cosmological constant; the unifying theory

that only within our powerful, quantum selves could something of this magnitude be sculpted

and it is far beyond this physical manifestation that we shall grow

into a world so benevolent that to see it with our mortal eyes would cause immediate cessation

all the questions have already been answered; for eons upon eons we have answered them

for time is timeless

and endings, well...

all that is left is to live this life;

and with gusto!

for this gift; a glimpse; a brief moment;

to waste in pursuit of thought is nonsensical.

we must grasp onto this intricate instant; take it for what it truly COULD BE

for within our minds come the fruits of futures beheld

only we can be the bearers of that light singular into this otherwise dark and lonely world.

this is the cross we bear.

the cross we have crafted for ourselves.

to always better be.

and with great strides we move toward the future

hail humanity!


now go have some fun, you fucking Cretans! [i quit, i'm not typing on this anymore after i'm done typing this one last sentence that seemingly could, and just may, go on forever; ceaselessly charging toward a future predetermined but undisclosed!]

mmmm

ah, but when people are people
are they not full of shit?

is it possible to not be full of shit
when you're there in front of someone
it's not your fault, you're not trying to
it's just the way things are;

the world is too strange to not have bullshit
without bullshit we could not survive
it's the glue that holds our species together
in fact our drive to stay alive
every muscle spasm approaching a smile
we sit back, relax, have a smoke, crack a bottle
and pretend not to know
we think without thinking
we thought what we didn't
but that thought brought sinking
so we gave up thought; our thoughts were the thoughts we were given
and we chronologically formed "existing conditions"
and we smile and we bow
we tip our hats
and we learn to do this
and we learn to do that
and we sing and we dance
and we drink and we cry
and we bullshit ourselves
and we never ask why
and we bullshit each other
this portion is true
that right now this author
is bullshitting you
but i do not mean to
i have white intentions
but these words i type
are enforced by constrictions
if i break away from the scheme i have crafted
this thing falls apart and you're left with the ashes
if rhyme clashes in a discordic array
you may just stop reading; go on with your day
so i have to keep you on the edge of your brain
i do that with verse and by rhyming everything
if i stopped rhyming words
and i stopped going places
you'd loose all attention
and find my work "tasteless"
i'd be such a loser
insignificant
it's your world i work in
it's my mind's ascent
so i never finished writing this poem
i never finished writing this poem
never finished this poem
never even wrote this poem
you should stop reading this poem
why are you reading this poem
stop yourself from disappoint
ment stop your self from re-involvement
stop reading this poem
stop reading this poem
this poem
reading this poem
is known to cause brain damage
dane bramage spammimg tufts of allegory
fell from the 10th story of the library of insanity
come back with me
look to aisle 3
do you see?
the bookshelf near the iv?
with the hot nurse and fresh jug of kfc?
that one's for you

this one's for me









;3

i just ate your brains.

07.06.10 ; 7:07

expression
and somehow i'm expressing
but what am i expressing
when the end begins?

and what was it worth
was it really for nothing
or was there a purpose
a meaning
a crux?

and what is expression?
what's worth taking time
in this short life we live
for expression; for rhyme

for love and for hate
for attempting to feel
as if someone foreign
won't only
destroy the flow of the
scheme
but institutionalize your
dreams
as if someone could really
truly know
what
you are
at evenfall
as if someone could really
understand all of you
truly feel
what
you are within
what it feels like to be you
even for one second
even for a glimpse so small
it's simply beyond measure
how could they ever
never knows best
but if never's forever;
could you please define "bliss"?


but what is this?

i'm feeling a weight lift
a continuum shift
as if someone or something
gave me a gift
of misunderstood misunderstandings
that lead me deep through the underpinnings
it's not through me
i always thought it would be
it's from you, your teachings
now i see
what expression could be
between you and me

we're free

simultaneously

a-cu-ROSSSS-uuu

undying dedication
and the ability to make it all seem worthwhile
you have more energy to spare
than you could ever place into motion
you're a wreck, a violation of being
but a loyal and cunning mistress
able to leap tall buildings and faster than trains
but only to death and rebirth through fate
excel excel, this saga's about you
of hyatt and your master illpallazzo
and menchi your dinner dish one day will be
koshi rikudo does not approve of this poem


today's experiment.....FAILED

we

can't play the piano
slumpin on the stoop
gotta ease your mind
take off
hit the loop
come back to back to back
side to side
exhale, deep connection underpinning the ride
then i loose my flexible reginald. bill
and overkill the will of shrill deville with courses in real
estate
state run banks and corporations
catch the worlds on fire, man, exclude the declaration
and face the pace of life beside the norm of your pursuation
even the leftest lefist out there wants to keep their occupation
being fat lazy overloaded stupid ass americans
because that's what we are, by far
and the right, alright we get it dawg you're telling us the truth
but that doesn't straight forgive the shit you've done to us [THE YOUTH]
you proclaimate yourselves the better half, but i can remember
just a few years ago with the twin towers in cinders
and lil bushy reading stories to the kids at their school
he sat there for 15 minutes, made himself look like a fool
not to mention Cheney and all the shit he did with halliburton
and if you're not understanding let me open up the curtain
see the politics and shit, they're nothing but visualization
of everything that's going on with the corporations
and if you haven't noticed yet, US, we're bigger than all
but if we don't watch our step we're gonna trip up and fall
and there are some who wish the curtain close
the end of the game
because they don't appreciate the land, the freedom, the brave
and the proud and the great, we're the land of the free
and even though we're not it's better living in fallacy
for at least when they kill us they only do it enmasse
and the probability of them up under your ass
is mostly zero
the longer that you live you're taxed
and so it's logically simple to form a movable caste
so that the one's who wish to survive thrive and move on to better
and all the lazy motherfuckers bottom feed on the cheddar
this is a great land, see it for what it can become
because it won't be long before it's we who's shoulder's it's on.

crushed

on second thought i decided that this is a bunch of garbage.

:D have a nice life eating shit :D!